Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Explosions and a new friend
I have been freaking out lately. My airplane, EK 73 , is leaving Dubai for Paris in ten and half hours. There is still a lot of time left and if I were a normal competent person I would be quite calm and probably sipping on a latte while laughing like those evil characters in manga cartoons, hand raised to my lips, palm facing outwards (O-hohoho!) .
But I am not a normal competent person. Far from it, I am actually a disorganized, paranoid ditz. I must have taken after Mom, except for the ditziness, that quality belongs to only me. *sigh*
To quell myself of this uneasiness I decided to go shopping. This activity could well put psychologists out of business and that is why they, the shrinks, have labeled it a 'problem'. Pish-Posh! Shopoholism? I believe you not!
Unfortunately, I had to go to the worst place on this planet; City Centre. It is a mall so crowded and so horribly constructed; with narrow passage ways, alien plants blocking your path, insane sales people who look like the zombies straight out of "Land of the Dead" while they attack you to buy something or else they would suck your blood and eat your kidneys; that you wished you could split everyone's heads open with a bazooka. It really is like a Resident Evil (Nemesis) game. Scary.
As I fought evil people in my way with my weapons (elbows and "fuck you" stares) I headed to Plug-In's hoping that some magical person would help me get what I need and tell me the way out of this nightmare. This aid came in the form of Zelo ( His real name! I kid you not!). With his fast moves and quick jabs at his co-workers , he showed me what I needed. An adapter. I was so thankful that I bought a toaster and two traveling irons as well. All of which he was more than happy to skip through the dark alleyways to show me the objects of my desire. I shook his hand and gave him the gift of light (my teeth are really big when I smile. I am in competition with Hilary Duff. Eat me, bitch Duff!). To my dismay, the toaster is not a traveling toaster and so will replace my parents' broken one which has been in that state for a bloody year (They pick the bread out with chopsticks. So innovative!)
After my purchases with the golden card (Visa Power, Go Get it!) I ran as fast as I could, running zombies over with my trolley and made my way to the TAXI station where I jumped to the next level;
REEF MALL
At reef mall things were a lot quieter. I was not sure what was lurking behind the pillars and shops. Suddenly, *gasp*!, children were everywhere and they used their most potent WMD; chilling ear-splitting sceams! GAAAH!! Quick as lightning I used my "you stupid fucking kid, shut up or I will throtle you" stare. It worked against some of the children but others were far too powerful. With my health depleting I ran to a store called "lifestyle" (because apparently, peoples' lifestyles are in such bad conditions that they need to go out and buy better ones). There someone was waiting for me. Kiki. The white cat with the cheshire grin. She was so high on reefers (this is Reef Mall, afterall) that she said, "Dude... you gotta take me to France, man. It will be so rad. We can go and make a trip to Amsterdam and I will show you how to smoke some dank shit". Those promises were way too tempting. I tried to leave but something was holding me back. That grin. It was so mesmorizing. My hand was out of my control. I grabbed her and paid for her (She is after all, a 'lifestyle, it doesn't come cheap').
Currently, she is sitting next to me high as a mother fucker. She has the chink eyes going (eyes become smaller and smaller the higher you get) and her face is so red that there are two distinct blotches on her white skin. Damn! This girl must have been smoking fattys her whole life. I can only aspire to have her 'lifestyle'. Right now, I am lucky just to have her as my traveling companion.
Ever seen a cat on weed?
I have been freaking out lately. My airplane, EK 73 , is leaving Dubai for Paris in ten and half hours. There is still a lot of time left and if I were a normal competent person I would be quite calm and probably sipping on a latte while laughing like those evil characters in manga cartoons, hand raised to my lips, palm facing outwards (O-hohoho!) .
But I am not a normal competent person. Far from it, I am actually a disorganized, paranoid ditz. I must have taken after Mom, except for the ditziness, that quality belongs to only me. *sigh*
To quell myself of this uneasiness I decided to go shopping. This activity could well put psychologists out of business and that is why they, the shrinks, have labeled it a 'problem'. Pish-Posh! Shopoholism? I believe you not!
Unfortunately, I had to go to the worst place on this planet; City Centre. It is a mall so crowded and so horribly constructed; with narrow passage ways, alien plants blocking your path, insane sales people who look like the zombies straight out of "Land of the Dead" while they attack you to buy something or else they would suck your blood and eat your kidneys; that you wished you could split everyone's heads open with a bazooka. It really is like a Resident Evil (Nemesis) game. Scary.
As I fought evil people in my way with my weapons (elbows and "fuck you" stares) I headed to Plug-In's hoping that some magical person would help me get what I need and tell me the way out of this nightmare. This aid came in the form of Zelo ( His real name! I kid you not!). With his fast moves and quick jabs at his co-workers , he showed me what I needed. An adapter. I was so thankful that I bought a toaster and two traveling irons as well. All of which he was more than happy to skip through the dark alleyways to show me the objects of my desire. I shook his hand and gave him the gift of light (my teeth are really big when I smile. I am in competition with Hilary Duff. Eat me, bitch Duff!). To my dismay, the toaster is not a traveling toaster and so will replace my parents' broken one which has been in that state for a bloody year (They pick the bread out with chopsticks. So innovative!)
After my purchases with the golden card (Visa Power, Go Get it!) I ran as fast as I could, running zombies over with my trolley and made my way to the TAXI station where I jumped to the next level;
REEF MALL
At reef mall things were a lot quieter. I was not sure what was lurking behind the pillars and shops. Suddenly, *gasp*!, children were everywhere and they used their most potent WMD; chilling ear-splitting sceams! GAAAH!! Quick as lightning I used my "you stupid fucking kid, shut up or I will throtle you" stare. It worked against some of the children but others were far too powerful. With my health depleting I ran to a store called "lifestyle" (because apparently, peoples' lifestyles are in such bad conditions that they need to go out and buy better ones). There someone was waiting for me. Kiki. The white cat with the cheshire grin. She was so high on reefers (this is Reef Mall, afterall) that she said, "Dude... you gotta take me to France, man. It will be so rad. We can go and make a trip to Amsterdam and I will show you how to smoke some dank shit". Those promises were way too tempting. I tried to leave but something was holding me back. That grin. It was so mesmorizing. My hand was out of my control. I grabbed her and paid for her (She is after all, a 'lifestyle, it doesn't come cheap').
Currently, she is sitting next to me high as a mother fucker. She has the chink eyes going (eyes become smaller and smaller the higher you get) and her face is so red that there are two distinct blotches on her white skin. Damn! This girl must have been smoking fattys her whole life. I can only aspire to have her 'lifestyle'. Right now, I am lucky just to have her as my traveling companion.
Ever seen a cat on weed?
# posted by Mare @ 10:10 AM 
